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Sanna
Bjelm
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01/02
44
Sanna Bjelm | 179CM
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![[letters to younger me]
“Christmas Mornings.”
I wake up before everyone else. Even if year after year, I always pretend that our parents managed to surprise me.
It’s Christmas.
The presents are put down by my mom, now waiting at the end of the bed for me to open.
I stare at them for what feels like forever.
Trying to guess what’s inside. I’m supposed to be calm and collected but patience has never been my strong suit. I pick them up.
Shake them. And absolutely rips them open. Making stories in my head what it is, before I even open them.
I have always loved gifts.
Not because I wanted things.
Because I loved the feeling of surprise.
Of someone knowing me. (Or maybe knowing me depending on what’s inside) And the feeling of magic wrapped in paper. A thoughtful gift. Only, for me.
Some things never change.
“The T-shirt.”
I’m wearing a t-shirt with myself on it. That of course, my extravagant mother had gotten me as a gift. It’s not the first time she gifts me, me. She is funny and very enthusiastic that way. I laugh and think to myself, ridiculous but also absolutely, Iconic.
Very me to wear something like that without even thinking twice. As if it is as normal as anything else.
But, should I not wear a tshirt of myself I think? Who else would I have a tshirt of? If I didn’t, who would? I mean, I have always had to be my biggest cheerleader anyway.
So I straighten out my posture. I shouldn’t care when people mention it, as if I am doing something wrong.
Nope. It’s like my brain turns off, and I can’t hear them. I am minding my business and you can mind yours. I like it.
I love to trigger a reaction of people and I think that’s a part of the reason. But then I am also shy. Very shy. So somehow everything is telling and working against each other. It’s a weird paradox.
But now! A picture…I smile for half a second before looking away… the shyness has hit like a million trucks when mom brings up her camera in my face.
I’m no longer quite sure what to do with my hands. Funny how that works.
And one day (that is today) I’ll stand in front of cameras as a job. And somehow… I’ll still feel exactly like this little girl.
I want to be there but also not](https://storage.googleapis.com/socialcdn/2026/07/25879052/3951334058068142954.jpg)
